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yeah, so this is what i do in college.
not getting laid, but watching robot chicken.
and watching other awesome vids.
college has been great so far :) |
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| I WILL NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH JONATHAN. I WILL NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH JONATHAN. I WILL NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH JONATHAN. I WILL NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH JONATHAN. I WILL NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH JONATHAN. I WILL NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH JONATHAN. I WILL NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH JONATHAN. I WILL NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH JONATHAN. I WILL NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH JONATHAN. I WILL NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH JONATHAN. I WILL NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH JONATHAN. I WILL NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH JONATHAN. I WILL NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH JONATHAN. I WILL NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH JONATHAN. I WILL NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH JONATHAN. I WILL NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH JONATHAN. I WILL NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH JONATHAN. I WILL NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH JONATHAN. I WILL NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH JONATHAN. I WILL NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH JONATHAN. I WILL NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH JONATHAN. I WILL NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH JONATHAN. I WILL NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH JONATHAN. I WILL NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH JONATHAN. I WILL NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH JONATHAN. I WILL NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH JONATHAN. I WILL NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH JONATHAN. I WILL NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH JONATHAN. I WILL NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH JONATHAN. I WILL NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH JONATHAN. I WILL NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH JONATHAN. I WILL NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH JONATHAN.
i can't. i just can't. |
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| i'm think i'm just going to hang out with the girls less and less.
besides, at least i can be by myself and have some time to think.
i've realized that i develop feelings for jonathan everytime i'm away from him.
he's away but i want to talk to him so badly.
WHY ARE YOU READING?
AND WHY ARE YOU WATCHING TV?
talk to me.
ugh.
he's killing me.
he was even in my dreams.
i bet god is laughing.
thanks, god.
i miss him so much.
i can't wait to see him again.
that way i can bother him all i want.
it's a good thing i live so close to him.
if i had to reach him by ways other than walking, i would be depressed for a LONG TIME.
damn you jonathan.
you were right.
it was fate. |
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| i'm thinking of transferring out of goucher.
i'm still not sure if i'm going to, though.
and if i still go through with it, i'm not sure if i want to go back to brooklyn.
i'm think of somewhere in massachusetts.
or maybe somewhere in the west.
i've become the floater in college now.
i don't have one specific person i hang out with.
it's not even like i hang out with them.
i just follow them.
and i give of this vibe like "i'm the follower because i don't have any friends."
and i of course, give off an "i'm so insecure and i think i'm so ugly blah blah blah" vibe as well.
and all of the people i hang out with are dancers.
and chicks.
and you know how girls are when they are together.
they just TALK.
and then i just sit there and just try to take everything in but my brain isn't processing everything."
girls are so annoying.
i need guy friends.
and they act like those ditzy girls that giggle TOO FUCKING MUCH.
but i just sit there and just smile and laugh only when i think something is funny.
but i put this smile on my face and just suck it up...
i wonder if they know how depressed i am?
i wouldn't be surprised if they did.
not that i cared.
as long as they don't pity me.
everything i say is stupid.
i swear i want someone to just tell me off.
just so i'll have a reason to kill myself.
life is not how i want it to be.
but that's because of i'm afraid of changing.
but i hate the way i am now.
and i don't want to hang with these people for the rest of my college years.
i'm tired of this.
i always tell myself i'm going to change.
but i never do.
i have to stop relying on others and start relying on myself.
i can't keep having people guide me through the right path. |
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